I could share so many different “clinical pearls” (as we like to say in the biz), but I’m not going to — at least, not right now. Don’t get me wrong, the details are important, but I want to focus on something else, something much bigger.
I want to talk about a phrase that I hear almost daily. I hear it as much today as I did when I first started in the field. It doesn’t matter the location, I promise you would hear it there too. It doesn’t matter if you are financially struggling or have money—this phrase doesn’t care. This phrase is a common thread that weaves through the collective group of women and mamas, it’s universal.
“Why didn’t they tell me about this?”
We are connected by the frustration, the lack of understanding, the fear, and the overwhelm of this phrase.
Every time I hear some iteration of, “Why didn’t they tell me about this?,” it strikes a chord in my Mama and clinician's heart.
As a Mama, I want to cry with you and hug you, pour you a coffee, and say, “I know it’s so fucked up, but it’s going to be ok.”
And as a clinician I get mad. Still, after all these years—I get angry and frustrated. I am STILL shocked, after all these years, thousands of patients, different cities, states, and clinics.
The crux of the issue is this: pelvic floor education, rehab, training, and comprehensive recovery are not important in the medical community, especially in this country.
I hear it in so many ways…
“I didn’t know that this could happen.”
“Why don’t they talk about this during my birth classes?”
“How come no one talks about this?”
And on and on it goes…
In most cases, these mamas are referring to pelvic floor problems, leaking pee, pain with sex, prolapse, abdominal separation, and core weakness.
They also reflect on their births and wonder why certain things were done, what choices they did (or didn’t) have, and why things went the way they did.
This frustration, this pain, this feeling of “being duped” or unprepared can be avoided entirely if we do 2 things (and they aren’t that hard):
However, very little has changed over my 12 years in practice as a pelvic floor PT.
In my opinion, it comes down to the patriarchy, money, and the rush to return to work.
The frustration you may feel in my words is exactly what keeps me going. Through the stress of running a business, raising my kids, and trying to stay afloat—this is bigger than me.
Women, mothers, and birthing persons everywhere need and deserve better.
It’s time we as a country and as a collective of health care providers from every disciple, start listening and really caring about a mother’s health. It’s not only our job but our responsibility.
Want to be informed but don’t know where to start? If you are a future mama or planning on getting pregnant again soon, don’t panic!
Now is the time to absorb all of the info you can get your hands on and The Down There Doc is here to help you do that. We will provide you with all of the resources you need and the support of someone who truly cares.
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